OneKaile's Life

Thursday, April 30, 2009, 1:26 AM

I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you
To late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words so sing along for me baby
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering

And I will always remember you as you are right now to me
And I will always remember now
Sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side
How does he feel, how does he kiss
How does he taste while he's on your lips
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you
I want to
But I can't forgive you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forgive you
I know you want me to want you I want to

Questions

Wednesday, April 29, 2009, 11:47 PM

Questions still lie on my mind.
What does life has to offer for me?

In hopes of finding someone, it ended up with finding nothing at all.
Who is the girl to share my life with?
Will you please come sooner?
I have grown tired of waiting.
My mind's starting to blur.
I am lost in thoughts.

Many i've tried, many have gone.
Some i grew attached too, left without a reason.
I admit i am a loser.
A loser who can never live without a girl.
Knowing that there is no special person to talk to.
To fill up my inbox, to fill up my heart.
It hurts.

The pain is hurting.
The longing for someone, for warmth.
To be able to finally call someone your own.
To love that girl, never getting tired of her.

When will that turn come for me?
Will i never see the light?
Will i be dead and gone when that happens?

My heart aches.
Shivering at the thought of being meaningless.
The thought of me being nothing to all.
I'm afraid that the girl of my life will never come.
That GOD had forgotten to create one for me.

Labels: Why, why isit so

I'm a lost sheep,Mr Wolf eat me up

7:17 PM

It's a beautiful day,
now I'll be ok now that you're not away.
Yesterday, was a terrible day,
and now that you're here I'm ok,
cause you don't know,
how much I, I need you
please don't go,
you're so wonderful,
this I swear, this I know,
you, oh you,
every single thing you do,
I'm so proud of you,
what you do,
when you do the things you do,
they're so you.
So thanks for your help,
you shine so bright,
you are the star that's in my sky.
And I am yours,and you are mine,
whoa you, whoa you,every single thing you do,
I'm so proud of you, what you do,
when you do, the things you do.
That's so you,
and I'm so proud of you, that's so you.

Labels: Lost once again

The End

Tuesday, April 28, 2009, 4:48 AM

To Nurul Hanis Bte Kamsir:

Thanks for all the time and experience that we've shared together.
I never once thought that i regretted being with you at all.
But alas, good things always have to come to an end.
You weren't strong enough to be able to push me.
You weren't able to show me the love that i needed.
Instead, you ran away from your responsibilities.

Thank you for being there for me even for a short while.
I appreciate it alot.
Just that i think it wasn't enough to satisfy me.
I am someone who'd give the world to someone.
But i didn't receive the world from you.
My regret, is never to fully get the LOVE that you can give.
My regret, is to crush the LOVE that i have built for you.
You are the ONE for me.
But alas, i was never the ONE for you.

I'm just someone that needs you.
Never the way around.
You never needed me at all.
You just needed me as and when its convenient.

So, the fairytale beginning that i thought would end as
"Happily Ever After"
Ended in a very sorrowful note.

Once again, Thank You for your TIME.

Labels: Totally Over

In the making

Sunday, April 26, 2009, 8:02 AM

All i have now is total rage in my heart, in my soul, in my mind.
Im still watching, im still aching, im still waiting.
For that day when we can be truly together as a complete.

Shivering from anger, from sadness, from love pouring out from my heart.
Nothing is ever gonna stop me from doing what i really want.
To have you baby.
To have you merge as one with me.

I yearn for your care, for your warmth, the feel of your soul connect as one.
I am but who i am.
My mind evolves, into this chimera.
The world is a playground.
Just waiting for something to void it of emotions.

I am a sadist, full of thoughts.
People are but canvas to me.
You are the one that keeps me sane.
My drug, my Ecstasy, my cure.

Love is what links me to you.
Love is what that keeps me sane.
Love is what that keeps me occupied.

Can i crack?
Can i just void myself of my life?
Can i just do what i want?

Moments when your gone, i shudder.
I lose all emotions.
I just feel rage, burning in my heart.
ARIES, GOD OF WAR.
Making me desire for bloodshed.

You are my saviour.
You are my light
Be mine tonight.

Labels: Confession's of a killer

Doubts~

Wednesday, April 22, 2009, 11:14 PM

Baby whats wrong?

Labels: on the verge

Endless

4:30 AM

Baby, here's a poem just for you.

All i ever think is i got you baby,
your a diamond ring in a form of a lady,
Giving you my all,
cause you know i'm crazy,
Having you around,
never thought for a maybe,
Baby your my all,
and you know what i mean,
Our love standing tall,
it's as sweet as ice-cream,
As i close my eyes,
and put my hands together,
Mumbling my words,
as i'm in deep prayer,
Got to be the best,
putting on my best behaviour,
I don't care about the rest,
cause i'm a past player,
Till here i'm gonna confess,
wishing for the best,
That our love would never rest,
holding you tightly,
Listening to the beat from my chest.

Labels: My confession

Noise~

Monday, April 20, 2009, 4:55 AM

Ever wondered what noise is actually?
It can be in a form of music, sounds that are too loud, nature doing its business.
Ever tried plugging in your earpiece and blasting it to max?
Do you get the thrill from all that buzzing in your ear?
Ever tried creating noise from thin air?
Ever tried putting a air pump into your ear and step on the peddle real hard?
Well, i would if you'd be soo kind as to be my test subject.
Noise you hear in the dark,noises that can't be explained by all scientific means.
What is noise actually?
Noise that comes in different wavelengths and frequency.
Something that we able-bodied people are given with.
The ability to hear noise.

While your reading this, didn't you hear that noise?
That noise that is slowly creeping behind you.

Labels: The pleasure is all mine XD

Cheers~

Sunday, April 19, 2009, 6:55 AM

In every context, there always has to be a beginning and an ending.

To show my gratitude for life, i have accidentally cut my own finger and allowed my blood, to flow with the water,washing away what sins i have flowing in my blood.
I haven been all that good you know.
I have lied,scammed,bullied all who was ever close to me. I don't deny doing all these things. I don't want people to befriend me just because i am nice and etc. I want them to like me,to befriend me for who i am. Just "ME".

To my dearest Nurul Hanis. I have done wrong towards you for these few days. The causes are soo simple and plain, but its the essence of our emotions. Jealousy, is the root of all things good and evil. It can make you strive to do better or just make you mock and hiss at someone your green-eyed with.

Baby, what i just want from you is your love and your concern towards me. I hate it that you sometimes share your time with other guys and leave me on the shelf for awhile. I feel lonely and useless when your off with some other guy. I admit that i am a very jealous person, but i have faith that you do know your limits. But, what i'm soo afraid of is that you'd be taken in by their sweet words. Something that i have not used to steal your heart. I just wanted you to love me for who i really am.

I know we jumped into this relationship way to fast. But i'm liking the times that we've spent together. Although short, there are lots of memories that we can relate to. I love you as how my parents love me. You really are the person i ever need.

Baby, im sorry for all the time i've made u frown and sigh. Im truly sorry babygirl. I swear by the heavens that only you are the one that resides in my heart.

Labels: Come clean

Answers

Friday, April 10, 2009, 10:48 PM

Hello there people.

Im glad to say that GOD has finally answered my prayers and brought to me the answer to all my problems all packed in a small package. Her name is Nurul Hanis. She is the answer to al my problems that i've been encountering throughout my life.

On the 6th of April is the day that we finally got together. I admit, it was abit difficult to get her into liking me but in the end, with some miracle, i somehow pulled it off. Now im hoping that fate would not be so cruel to cut the string between me and her.

She is now the apple of my eye, the beat of my heart, and the air that i breathe.

Went to watch movie with her in the evening and i must say, she's everything that i've ever wanted in a girl. Just pocketfull of sweetness is all i can say.

To my dear baby, i hope the conversation we had in the evening, u would understand as to who and what i am. I really LOVE u alot and i hope ur parents would also like me enough.

Till then, lets just embrace the moments being together :D

Labels: You know i love you

8th of April

Wednesday, April 8, 2009, 3:34 PM

Hello there people.

If you didn't know,today marks the day that i was born. On the 08/04/90. This day marks the existence of a being by the name of Khairyl Azuan.

Im gonna be celebrating my birthday with my family members later on in the night :D

And thanks to my dear baby for giving me the best birthday present XD ILYSM :D

Here are some people that share the same birthday as me :

Sultan Iskandar of Johor, also the 8th Yang di-Pertuan Agong of Malaysia

Ole Kirk Christiansen, inventor of Lego

Betty Ford, First Lady of The United States

Alois Brunner, Austrian Nazi

Well, till my next post.

Labels: Salute

Whacked

Friday, April 3, 2009, 11:17 PM

Hey there people, i'm totally whacked out by the idea of girls.

Why do girls always tend to fall for the bad guys and never the good guys. Why do good guys have to endure all the pain whereas all the bad guys get the pleasure and enjoyment of LOVE.

Whats wrong with me trying to impress you that i can actually be the one to really mend your broken heart. Do u even care about how i truly feel about u. Am i just putting on a show for you to tell your friends about??????

What am i to u? A friend? A special friend?

Hell, beats me. I'm totally whacked out now.

Labels: Bloody left eye