Moments to come~
Tuesday, March 31, 2009, 10:24 PM
Life is beginning to take a fall. I can't seem to feel my legs no more. Can't stand on my own.
Since a few years back, i haven had a real episode that had happened to me in my life. Yesterday night was the worst attack that i've ever had. I'm truly sorry to all those that had to see me in that state of anger. I know it's not a very usual sight to encounter. Once again, i'm really sorry if i caused hurt or traumatised anyone during that event.
Love has come in a very different manner now. There's someone that has really caught my attention. She is someone very dear to me. I feel that she is the One and Only for me. But the road to her heart is filled with extreme obstacles for me. I swear to GOD, to you i will rely upon, to you that i will put my hopes and dreams on, and to you that i will cherish my moments with. But, only if the door to your heart opens up for me.
Seeing you for the first time, knowing you for a short period of time has made me realise that your the most different person i've ever met. The feelings that i'm having for you is truly one of a kind. My soul yearns for your company, your care and concern, your presence. When your not around, the feeling of missing you grows deep down inside my heart. Your the one that fills up my mind and dreams. "YOU" truly are the one for me.
I know that love has brought you down to your knees but i promise, i will do my very best with LOVE to bring you back up again, standing strong. Knowing you has never been a boring journey. I really must thank GOD for bringing you to my life. I just hope that somewhere, somehow, things will take a turn for the better.
Labels: 8 days to go...
8.30pm
Monday, March 30, 2009, 8:30 PM
Life's pretty bleak
Phew~
Saturday, March 28, 2009, 3:01 PM
Life has been pretty much a roller-coaster ride for me.
Things have started to fall into place for some events and some pieces are starting to come undone.
I have this great fear of someone dearest to be being in a position where he's helpless and unable to help himself. If only i was there to protect him. But alas, the page has been written by HIM.
Regarding my love life for say, things are still in a standstill. Nothing new or old is affecting the way i think but somehow, someone is actually making me skip a beat when im around her. She has been a familiar face to me throughout my time knowing her. To some people, they may know her very well, and to some, they may not even realise that i really do like her.
Family, has been always supporting me with everything that i've done. They are the source of my energy, motivation and support that i need to ensure that i can stay stable. I dont want to be a burden to my family because of what has been going on between my life.
I admit that i am ashame of what i have done in the past and the present. I have thoroughly learnt from my mistakes and i hope i will never repeat it in the near future..
Labels: 11 days to go..
...
Tuesday, March 24, 2009, 8:24 PM
Something unexpected has happened to a best friend of mine. Please don't let anything serious happen to you alright.
Labels: Wishing
Untitled
Monday, March 23, 2009, 5:05 PM
How could you let me go,
i thought our love would grow,
Never have i thought before,
that this would end,
Just like a show,
your eyes were soo hypnotic,
Your kisses were soo perfect,
i thought that it was worth it,
To share my love, its so classic,
if i know that this would happen,
Should have thought for just one second,
before i popped that fucking question,
Like a kid with his birthday present,
i've been hurt in to deep,
I've been lost damn too far,
wishing that you'd be here,
My starry-starry little star,
your the light when i'm in darkness,
Your the warmth when i'm in coldness,
my feelings are soo obvious,
And with "you" that i'll move on with.
Labels: Lock and Load
Smiles~
Tuesday, March 17, 2009, 9:08 AM
Hi there readers :)
Its really been awhile since i last posted a post that sounds real cheerful. Well, i finally think im starting to get back right on track. I've been socializing alot this few weeks. Been meeting new faces and new discoveries have been made.
I'm really proud of where i stand now. I am slowly trying to be the person that i used to be. The friendly, happy-go-lucky person that i thought was dead and gone.
It's raining now, and my dearest cousin is still asleep. I haven got any sleep because i just don't feel like it XD
Surprisingly i could finish my assignment of 5000 words in 1 day. Which was totally deprived of sleep. Haven been sleeping for almost two days now. I guess i'm too hyped up due to events coming up in the days to come.
I miss all my dear friends. Both in yishun and gombak. U guys/girls are the greatest bunch i've ever meet and i totally thank u guys for making me a part of the family. I miss the bonding, the special connection that all of us had together. Make it last kays u guys.
I miss being with a special person. Well, hopefully i can actually find true love that'll really blow my socks off..* if i'm wearing any right now* XD
I've been able to cry a few times in this year which is a very good thing. I dont cry that easily and being able to finally cry gives me that sense of happiness that i've never had.
Girl, u make me crazy,
cause, your my true lady,
Love, for you my baby,
come,when you are ready..
Labels: CHEERS~
It happens~
Tuesday, March 3, 2009, 3:06 AM
Sad as it is, i think i've really lost to the devil. My whole existence is being questioned by me and others. The type of person i want to be like is lightyears away from what i am now. I'm a beast in the form of a human. A beast with desires far worst then normal humans. A desire to hunt, to feel the power, to feed.What is really ticking in my brain. Am i really losing my marbles? I've been having strange dreams. Dreams that come in various situations. I've had a dream that states that i can't die. A dream of me seeing what seems abnormal seem normal. A dream where by anybody's deep desires can come true. Please be the judge. Judge me for what i have become. Judge me for who i may become. Judge me for what disasters i may cause. Pray for me that i may rest peacefully. Pray for me that i may finally see the light and the end of the tunnel. To find the peace and tranquility my mind and my soul has been yearning soo much for. The tears that could never drop without having the desire of destruction. I despise what i have become. Ashamed of myself for showing people who i am. Ashamed that i dare not tell people of what i really am. A maniac on the lose. A sadist. Numerous time's ive held the blade of a knife near to my neck. In front of my mother as well. But each time i feel like stabbing myself, i find this weakened voice telling me not to do it. How long will this voice last before it truly disappears and i disappear with it??Can someone please help me? Sitting here, alone in the dark. Tears welding up in my eyes. But barely making it down my cheeks. Save me from my misery. Save me from this torment. Wake me up from this nightmare. Please??? Labels: Ticking~
