Beats me~
Monday, February 16, 2009, 4:29 AM
Here i am, sitting down fully awake. Life hasnt been a pretty easy ride for me. I cant seem to understand what the matter is wrong with me. Am i being judged because of all the wrong things ive done in the past?Here i am,sitting down fully awake. Sweat dripping from my lifeless form. Smoke filling up my lungs, taking 7 mins away from my time. Nightmares is all ive been having. Nightmares after nightmares, as if its a chain.Here i am, sitting down fully awake. My mind distorted. My breathing irregular. My whole existence being questioned. Am i suppose to be in this world? What is my purpose? What is my drive? Am i to bring joy to others or am i to bring misfortune to humanity?Here i am, sitting down fully awake. My body battered beyond recognition. My eyes deceiving me. My mind's telling me. End this all! Wake up from this nightmare. Spread my wings and emerge from this misery. Enter into the world where i see myself as a normal being. Where everything i do seems perfectly normal. Where delusions are capable of becoming real. Where life and death is just a thing of the past. Where man can indulge in their very own fantasies.Here i am, sitting down fully awake. Breathing out the last remainder of my smoke. Stubbing out the remainder of my ciggarette. Wishing that all of this was a dream. Wishing that life wouldnt be this harsh on me. Wishing that there was a way for me to enjoy my life without worries. Where i can drown in my own sins. Im in love with my thoughts. My thoughts of red, of blood, of things inanimate. How would u feel if u had the power to control lives. To dictate events as if it was a blank page and ur the author. How would it feel??Labels: Load a gun and swallow the lead~
