Finally
Friday, September 26, 2008, 12:26 AM
Finally i could shed tears after soo many unsuccesful tries..Thank You GOD for letting me cry :)
It feels weird
Thursday, September 25, 2008, 11:56 PM
This few days,i've been working to earn that small amount to splurge it on myself and my friends.I'll be waiting for that cheque please :)
I'm currently working as a price tagger which means putting prices to attire's and such.Easy job cause most of our time is slacking and taking breathers while we're paid $5/1hr.Cool or what right..
Things also seem to be going somewhere btwn the both of us.It's beginning to feel strangely unfamiliar now.The warmness of ur soul seems to be losing its warmth.I know things btwn ur past feelings regarding someone has resurfaced and u cant shake that feeling off.It's fine by me cause i understand how u feel.It's jus that ive been saying i dont feel any pain in my heart but now after knowing the truth,i feel this weird feeling in my heart.It hurts,it makes me want to cry but sadly i can't cry away these feelings.I've lost the sense to cry.My heart has lost that warmth now.It's slowly chilling and freezing back to the way i used to be.If things dont work out the way u want it then i think its best if we take a break or somewhere btwn that line.I cant bear to see things like this happening to me anymore.It seems that its beginning to be a habit for me to be the one feeling down and hurt because of my partner.
Tell me :
- Does being nice to you feels weird?
- Does always caring for you seems weird?
- Does always showing you the time of your life seem weird?
-___________________________________________________________-"
It's giving me this cramped up feeling in my chest,in my heart.This is the feeling that i dont want to experience when im with you.But tonight had to be the night for me to feel this pain.A pain only GOD understands.Although i dont do what is written in the BOOK,i still believe in HIM...
I really hate it when this happens.A part of me just wants to go berserk and i want to feel the bodily pain and see and feel the warmness of my blood.But i know im gonna create a mess and im gonna trouble my whole family again.I've done too many of those acts already and i dont want them to be stressed over an unimportant person like me.I'm cooped up alone in my room,listening to winter sonata.The music really resonates with my soul.The pain,the loneliness,the urge to pour out tears,the feeling of being out of love.
My fav green tea is here accompanying me at this moment. I <3 u green tea.Your such a calming drink.Well i think thats about what i have to say from my heart.Things just start to feel weird starting from today :'(
Labels: Crushed
Smile
Monday, September 22, 2008, 4:27 AM
Its been 2 weeks+ since we've been together.I could not ask for anything more from u.U've been a great gf/friend to me and i hope im doing fine for u.I know i've made u afraid of me at certain times bcos of my anger and stuff but i promise u that i wont ever lay a finger on u kays.
Things are actually looking up for mi regarding my love life.I dont know for how long it'll last but please let it last for a long time.I'll pray for ur health and please dont scare me liddat again.I was really jumpy when u told me u werent feeling well in the middle of the night.I feared for ur safety and i felt weak that i couldnt do anything for u.
For now,my life is entrusted to you and i hope u'll take good care of me.Don't worry bout me as i will take good care of u and myself :)
Labels: I miss hanging out with friends
Stuff
Saturday, September 20, 2008, 12:32 AM
Today was really the same old stuff..Had friends and even my gf around to entertain me :)
Lets start off with something on a lighter note.I know that things don't always seem to go the way u want it and sometimes u may feel that tight feeling that u have in ur heart.Well,im having that sorta pain because finally faa has found someone who has captured her heart.I just hope it doesn't turn out like something that happened in the past.All the best to you girl :)
To my dearest gf,i know u still feel that disappointment btwn ur past relationships but u shud nvr let it control u.I'll always be around to care for you kays.I promise :)
Labels: Im sleepy
The End
Tuesday, September 16, 2008, 6:12 PM
Like i said,things dont always go the
way that u want it to be.
But what matters most is u shud stay strong.
Finally,i've laid down my cards and ended this whole thing.
To fafa,thnks for always being there and spending time with me and all.I really appreciate it alot and let me say that its been a great 6 months.I've never pretended to show u care and concern cause u know urself that i care bout u.
Having fallen for u on the night of a full moon really meant alot.The full moon was really bright and i enjoyed looking at it.It reminded me soo much of things that happened btwn.I don't even know how many full moon's we've been through in those 6 months.All this while i've been putting up with ur nonsense and building u up.I made u into who u are now.I changed u,and im proud of what i've done for u.Now is the time to be free and show the world what ur made off.
Finally, i would like the world to know that i have a gf.She's been there for me during my crisis and all.She's been there when im in need of someone to talk to.I'll do my best to be someone u can depend on kays.Tmr i'll be baking cookies at her place..hahaha :P
Im sorry that my sentences dont seem to move in a flow.I cant seem to find the flow anymore.I need to be used to this.I need habit. CHEERS~
Labels: A story has ended
A while
Sunday, September 14, 2008, 4:49 AM
Hi there readers :)
I know its been awhile since i posted something online but its because there wasn't anything interesting to write anyways. Truth be told, I'm actually feeling better now. Things are pretty much going the way i want it to be. I still have great friends i can count on: Tan,Jali,YuanJie,Iz,Ammar; they are there when needed. I'm sorry if i wasn't much of a help to u guys.
I'm currently bored at home since i ended my course and now I'm waiting for calls for attachments so whoever is free do give me a call to slack kays. I'm still confuse regarding certain stuff regarding my emotions. I have fear that one day i can't control myself and just go cuckoo.It's like there's a thin safety line to ensure me that i don't go crazy.
Regarding advises: Things don't always go smoothly but no matter what,stay strong :)
Labels: Anticipation
As Time Passes By
Friday, September 5, 2008, 11:21 PM
It seems that I've gotten a few compliments on the latest post regarding my advise on love.To those who are actually finding it easier to deal with it after you've read my post then i salute thee.
It seems that another form of problem regarding Love has cropped up and this is what is called: Moving On In Life
A relationship is the most subtle thing that a human can ever ask for.Feeling the warm touch of the opposite sex,the care & concern that they give to us is always indescribable.Nothing can relate to the feelings and experience gained except for those who has experienced it themselves.
Another problem after that is actually what we can call a withdrawal symptom from losing the Love that we have considered a habit. When we lose the person whom we truly care about,it seems to most people that life has ended,i got no hope anymore,i feel like killing myself and etc. This shouldn't be the solution or options that u should consider or think after losing that someone. As I've said,life's full of surprises. Only time will tell what's in store for us in time to come.
This is when u have to value the true meaning of how priceless your own self is.Each individual is born to have inner strength to help them overcome obstacles that may hinder the growth of your life. That is when u have to find that inner strength and use it to actually help u in your conquest to achieve the happy results of and "i-just-broke-up" situation.
How do u summon your inner strength u say? Well,each individual's are born unique.I cant really say how to summon it but in a general manner,the most important factors are:
Having a relaxed mind to think
Clearing your conscience of all the feelings u once had
Having the drive to actually wanting to break out of it
Having the idea of what u want next in life
When u have done this,then your inner strength will come to you.The slightest hesitation will lead to a never ending cycle of "i-can't-let-go" disease.Why do i say it's a disease? Because in life,its fine to sometimes hold on to something in the past but holding on to the past or to something that can never be yours,for an extended period of time may lead u into not moving forward. By not moving forward,your similar to the history classes that you've taken.Ur a part of history while others around u are the present.
Always remember this,No one is perfect except for GOD himself. He is the higher being that pulls the strings of fate.
"When a path has led you into a dead-end,He will open a new path for you"
"When you think you've lost all hope,He will create hope for you"
"When you think you are sad, He'll create someone to be there for you"
"All that matters most is YOU"
Labels: We are Who We are
Once Upon A Time
Tuesday, September 2, 2008, 11:17 AM
Its 11.19am right now and i jus came back from school..Lecturer didnt come school as she always does.I dont even know what she's doing??Hmm(thinking something dirty) :P
This goes out to all who are stressed up over love.If ur one of those that have a partner but ur partner doesn't seem to take interest in u after awhile then im sad too say that:
- He may actually be busy to spend time with you.
- He may actually lost interest in you and found someone new.
This is the painful truth that u all have to accept when facing this situation.My advise to those in this situation,always be prepared for the worst in both mental and physical manner.
I've come across ladies that like to say that the person that they are with or admire is "perfect".In reality there is no such thing as perfect.Everything in this world is made to be flawed and only GOD is the only perfect manner.Ladies who are under the category of calling some guy perfect means:
- You could have been sweet-talked into thinking his perfect.
- He may be just the right guy for you(but u still think his perfect) :)
For situation 1, Girls are often sweet-talked into thinking that the guy has problems or that he hasn't had any luck in love and etc.This is the first tactic for a guy to gain the trust of a girl.Thus after gaining that he will manipulate u(the ladies) to do whatever he desires.You want to know why u cant resist?? Because of the idea that he's perfect and anything that he does to you (bad things of course) u still consider him perfect.Cause in your eyes ladies,perfect guys don't do wrong things.
Situation 2 is different,way different.The guy that you think is perfect may actually be the one that you will share the rest of your life with.This is only if the guy hasnt used any of the above mentioned tactics in situation 1.If he did then say goodbye to Mr.Perfect pants ladies.All i can say to situation 2 ladies,*Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder*
So today's post ended up about love and stuff because i've got a few dearest who may need advises on love as you read my blog.For those who hasnt,read on to understand more on the situation that hopefully may not befall on u.Till the next post :)
Labels: Oh well thats life for you ladies
